Books For Our Kids

Here are some books that may be helpful for our kids. I do not claim to have read them, but some of them sound very good. See what you think. Check if your library has them or try Amazon.

Author: Martha Whitmore Hickman
Title: Robert Lives With His Grandparents: A Concept Book
Ages: 4 - 8
Date: 1995
Robert’s parents are divorced, and he lives with his grandparents. When his grandmother decides to attend Parent’s Day at his school, he is afraid of what the other kids will think of him.

Author: Jeanne Warren Lindsay
Title: Do I Have a Daddy?
Ages: 4 – 8
Date: 1991
A read aloud book to help caregivers respond to children’s questions about a parent they have never seen.

Author: Tololwa Mollel
Title: Kele’s Secret
Ages: Elementary School – picture book
Date: 1997
A young African boy who lives with his grandparents on their coffee farm follows their hen in order to find out where she is hiding her eggs.

Author: Cindy Klein Cohen and John T. Heiney
Title: Daddy’s Promise
Ages: 4 – 8
Date: 1997
Addresses all the different feelings children may have as they grieve a loved one. (Available through bookstores or amazon.com)


Author: Brigitte Weninger
Title: Good-Bye Daddy!
Ages: 4 – 9
Date: 1995
After spending the day with his daddy, a young bear is sad and angry that his father has to leave. The bear comes to learn that even when a father lives in another home, the love and caring never go away.

Author: Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
Title: Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families
Ages: 5 – 10
Date: 1986
Dinosaur characters depict the range of experiences and feelings encountered by children of divorced parents.

Author: Elizabeth Weitzman
Title: Let’s Talk About When A Parent Dies
Ages: 5 - 9
Date: 1996
Gives advice on surviving the death of a parent and suggests what feelings and behaviors to expect from others.

Author: Jill Krementz
Title: How It Feels When a Parent Dies
Ages: 8 – 13
Date: 1981
Children, ages seven through sixteen, tell how it feels to lose a parent through death.

Author: Maureen K. Wittbold
Title: Let’s talk About When a Parent is in Jail
Ages: Early Elementary
Date: 1997
Discusses why jail exits, why people go to jail and how to deal with a person in jail.

Author: Jill Hastings and Marion Typpo
Title: An Elephant in the Living Room: the Children’s
Book and An Elephant in the Living Room: a
Leader’s Guide for Helping Children of Alcoholics
Ages: 4 – 8 and their caregivers
Date: 1994
These books help children from alcoholic homes learn about addiction and teach new ways to handle their feelings.


Author: Ruth White
Title: Belle Prater’s Boy
Ages: Young Adult - fiction
Date: 1996
When Woodrow’s mother disappears suddenly, he moves to his grandparent’s home in a small Virginia town. He befriends his cousin and together they find the strength to face the terrible losses and fears in their lives.

Depression and kinship caring

As I read research about the health and wellbeing of kinship caregivers, I learn there is an increase in health problems that are seemingly related to caring for our relative. Although I do have bouts with depression, I would not tie the problem exclusively to being a kinship caregiver. I wonder how researchers make that leap.

When a relative takes on the “parenting” role for a relative, there typically is a traumatic life event that has happened – for both the child(ren) and the relative caregiver. The first time my grandson was placed with me, it was because a drug raid took place at his parents’ home. I received a call from my daughter asking me to take her son or he would go to foster care. I had less than a minute to make this decision! And that is a big decision to make. I was trying to process what she was telling me – the police were at her home, they were looking for drugs, she was going to jail, and a social worker was taking her son! That is a lot of information to take in!

I quickly agreed to take my grandson, but I had no idea at that time what that decision would mean.

Was I depressed? Of course I was! My daughter was arrested, my grandson was with me on a fulltime basis, and there were many uncertainties to figure out. How would I continue working fulltime in a job I just started three weeks before the phone call? How would I afford to buy formula, diapers, and clothing? Where would I get help to pay daycare that was over $200 per week for an “infant”? Who would help? Would I qualify for any help?

My point is, dramatic life events such as this one are bound to impact the emotional well-being of anyone! Was my depression or sadness from caring for my grandson or was it due to trying to process everything that was happening and making very big adjustments to my day-to-day life as I knew it? I think it is both and tying my depression exclusively to raising my grandson is not a true statement.

I also have to wonder how the age of the kinship caregiver plays into the health issues. Wouldn’t it make sense that going through such a traumatic event would make any current health issue flare up? I know when I am feeling a lot of stress my rheumatoid arthritis flares up significantly. If a kinship caregiver is older and has health issues related to the normal aging process, wouldn’t they flare up?

I suppose there is truth stating our health suffers, but it seems a bit misleading. Older people generally do have aging health concerns. Stress can make them flare up. Is the source of the stress raising a child or is it grieving the loss of the parent. After all, it is not only the child who lost a parent, but in my case, I lost my daughter to drug addiction and honestly, I miss her too.