This past week, my grandson heard me talking on the phone with
his grandfather. When the phone call
ended, I looked at him and could see he was troubled. He asked me what we were talking about.
I told him that his grandpa called because he was worried
about his mom and wanted to know if we had heard from her.
“Grandma, can I say a bad word?” he asked. I wanted to know what his five-year old mind
was thinking about, so I said, “Yes, you can say a bad word this one time”.
His voice got soft and quiet. He whispered, “This is not nice, but I have to
say it. I hate mom.” And then he put his
head in my chest, as if to cover his face.
I held him. Then he said, “I love
my mom”.
I told my grandson, “You know what? Sometimes I miss your
mom so much. Sometimes I am so angry with your mom because I want her to come
home. I love you, buddy. We just miss
your mom.”
He stayed in my arms for a few minutes. We didn’t talk. We didn’t need to. We just sat in the kitchen, hugging each
other and missing mom.
Then it was time to color pictures and be five.
It is not easy to have these conversations. It breaks my heart to see him hurting.
I know it is not good to stay focused on what is wrong in
life. When I do that, I feel angry and
bitter which doesn’t solve anything or make anything any easier. I miss out on life’s
good stuff if I stay angry and bitter.
When I look for the good, I can find it. When I look for bad, I can find it. I am going to look for the good. I was able to help my grandson when he was
sad. That’s a good thing.
I am a grandma raising my grandson. Yes, it’s all good.
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